to write with love when you're gone

On Tuesday, January 2, 2007, I wrote the following note to myself via my Xanga blog post:

"you're gonna be okay. i promise."

You left me a comment saying, "yeah i know =]]]"

Out of all "the guys," you probably read my super dramatic blog posts the most. It breaks me to know that I won't be getting anymore comments from you, no matter how many posts I make. As I reassure myself with the same words now, I am also imagining you saying this to me in response. 🖤

Here's a picture of us and the other three amazing people in my life (Hong-An is missing).

Your forever friend,
Em

bullets

" don't make me bring you back to the start / you can run but you won't come far / don't let me show you how weak you are / hurts like bullets between these walls "
- Rebecca & Fiona



what a funny world we live in... those that do the most damage end up being the same ones who care about you most. i'd like to call that bullshit. but sometimes, that's just life.

ASUC Elections

So much of me now wishes that I had one more Spring semester at Cal just so I can be on the campaign team hustlin' for next year's slate for the progressive API community, because after seeing the hard work everyone had put in through the days on Sproul and the ridiculously amazing spreadsheet of live tallies, that sense of community hit me so hard. And it is "SO GOOD!" like Sydney Fang #201 to see something like that. damn, CalSERVE <3

gone

so why would you stay if it's killin' us both just to be here?

there's no more room to grow and you won't find yourself 'til you leave me

it's a beautiful world outside these walls and i love you too much

to hold you down with my light shine and it's blinding you

so g'on, get away, leave me be

'cause i don't wanna see your face around here

now don't complicate it

i don't have it in me to hate you

i was meant to be your freedom

i just want to be your faerie

and i try to teach you

but i can only stay for one more day then i am

gone, get away, leave me be

'cause i don't wanna see your face around here

there ain't nothing here for you if you stay

and it's hard to hear myself say "go away"

instead of "baby please stay just one more day"

i barely have the strength to leave you

and you don't wanna be with me

so go on, and leave me alone

revisited one of my favorite songs after a few years ... Esthero has one of the most astounding female voices, and it's unfortunate she does not get as much recognition as she deserves.

it's been a crazy night. and to think i was gonna go out tonight ... good thing i didn't.

school first.

wtfeezyyy. i effin' LOVE how things fall into place. i love the rollercoaster of stress and de-stressing. i love how determined i have been at getting my future figured out. and i hope beyond hope that i will continue feeling this way so i can ace my classes this semester, get myself qualified for Singapore, and go psychotically insaneeeee. yeah, yeah, yeahs!

will be turning in my double major declaration tomorrow now that it's signed off.(:

i've also decided to take a step back from breakdancing until i get caught up/be on good standing in all my classes. it bums me out, but school comes first. though it doesn't hurt to party a little every weekend! hahah missing the fams at home, who btw, sent me an e-mail of support for my decisions <3 i will now leave this be and jump on those midterm book reviews! whattup thoughh.

been on this shit for weeks thanks to Anthony (: