homework distractions.

There are times I know you question my past.
You rummage through the mess,
In hopes to find a face that matches names I murmur in my sleep.
But you find nothing.
No hints, no pictures, no physical belongings
For I leave no trace of past lovers & flings;
For those are the things I keep in a box,
Buried beneath my present day.
But listen to me;
Listen to my voice.
Listen to my stories.
There you find my memories.
There you find names that used to bring a smile to face.
There you find my heart countlessly broken,
Countlessly hoping after hope.
I need not show the world the what-used-to-be's;
I need not show the pain;
I just need an open heart to take in mine.
So let's forget it all.
Let's forget it all.

set yourself on fire

"Out there amongst the waves and inside your lover's head, there is only one thing ... 20 years asleep before we sleep forever."

As I approach the end of this week, I must say that it's been one of the toughest I've had to deal with in a long time. Things were just piling up from the very start, and seriously, the pile is still being piled. I would list all the bullshit, but why do I need to be a whiny child and complain? Tough it out, Emily, tough it out. With that being said, I have a 6-8 page paper due at 11am, and guess what?! I have yet to start it. On the other hand, the ADD pill is, in a sense, is currently helping me stay up.

Listening to Stars is helping me relax; I just love listening to old favorites and remember how fascinated I was when I was first introduced to indie back in '03. It was one step deeper into a new genre of music, which then open the doors to even greater music out there. I don't think I'd be that open to different kinds of music if it weren't for my passionate love for indie to begin with. How different I would be, too. But enough about that. Let's set ourselves on fire and show the world that nothing can stop us from shining bright.

aerosmith - jaded

Listening to the old stuff.

"In all it's misery it will always be what I love ... and hated."

It's not that I don't want this.
It's just that at some point,
I feel like I'm going to lose it.
I don't know what you want from me.
And sometimes, I don't know what I am to you.
I'm not a concept.
I can't complete you.
And I can't make you feel alive.
I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind.
I know what I'm waiting for,
I just don't know if I'm gonna get it.

I Am, I Will.

I am a bgirl.
Throw me some beats and I've got toprocks, pin drops, six steps that won't stop.
I don't stop.
My footwork keeps going with intricate movements, implanting my marks to the floor telling everyone that
I am a dancer.
I move to beats but even so,
I am not to be moved.
I stand with my feet rooted to the ground and when I walk,
I walk with my head held high, holding hope in my hands
Knowing that as rough as it gets, I won't back down
I am loud.
With my strong lungs, I shout with my soul;
I'll let you know that you can't change me for
I am spiritually eternal.
I am like a phoenix of fire, scinitillating light that blind your eyes
Flying high to show the world that I can't be pulled down.
That's right, my backbone keeps me up, I won't give up for
I am educated to know that give up doesn't belong in my dictionary.
And I know that I can't be defined by a fucken label or stereotype;
Yeah, just 'cause I'm Asian doesn't mean I can't drive.
Wait ... I'm not Asian.
I am Southeast Asian.
And I'm a representation for the underrepresented,
The jar that holds war stories in my heart.
I am the present tense of my parents' past,
And I make our history, our culture known to my society, my community, my people,
For my people will make movements happen.
And if you don't believe me, watch.
I will make it happen.