bullets

" don't make me bring you back to the start / you can run but you won't come far / don't let me show you how weak you are / hurts like bullets between these walls "
- Rebecca & Fiona



what a funny world we live in... those that do the most damage end up being the same ones who care about you most. i'd like to call that bullshit. but sometimes, that's just life.

ASUC Elections

So much of me now wishes that I had one more Spring semester at Cal just so I can be on the campaign team hustlin' for next year's slate for the progressive API community, because after seeing the hard work everyone had put in through the days on Sproul and the ridiculously amazing spreadsheet of live tallies, that sense of community hit me so hard. And it is "SO GOOD!" like Sydney Fang #201 to see something like that. damn, CalSERVE <3

gone

so why would you stay if it's killin' us both just to be here?

there's no more room to grow and you won't find yourself 'til you leave me

it's a beautiful world outside these walls and i love you too much

to hold you down with my light shine and it's blinding you

so g'on, get away, leave me be

'cause i don't wanna see your face around here

now don't complicate it

i don't have it in me to hate you

i was meant to be your freedom

i just want to be your faerie

and i try to teach you

but i can only stay for one more day then i am

gone, get away, leave me be

'cause i don't wanna see your face around here

there ain't nothing here for you if you stay

and it's hard to hear myself say "go away"

instead of "baby please stay just one more day"

i barely have the strength to leave you

and you don't wanna be with me

so go on, and leave me alone

revisited one of my favorite songs after a few years ... Esthero has one of the most astounding female voices, and it's unfortunate she does not get as much recognition as she deserves.

it's been a crazy night. and to think i was gonna go out tonight ... good thing i didn't.

school first.

wtfeezyyy. i effin' LOVE how things fall into place. i love the rollercoaster of stress and de-stressing. i love how determined i have been at getting my future figured out. and i hope beyond hope that i will continue feeling this way so i can ace my classes this semester, get myself qualified for Singapore, and go psychotically insaneeeee. yeah, yeah, yeahs!

will be turning in my double major declaration tomorrow now that it's signed off.(:

i've also decided to take a step back from breakdancing until i get caught up/be on good standing in all my classes. it bums me out, but school comes first. though it doesn't hurt to party a little every weekend! hahah missing the fams at home, who btw, sent me an e-mail of support for my decisions <3 i will now leave this be and jump on those midterm book reviews! whattup thoughh.

been on this shit for weeks thanks to Anthony (:

sure thing

"even when we're down to the wire, baby, even when it's do or die, we can do it simple and plain 'cause this love is a sure thing ..."

so i gave up facebook for lent.

I always make plans, but I do know that they don't always work out. This is one of those times. But unfortunately, it is a huge plan; it was my final plans as an undergrad, and it shut down on me. big time. Now, I'm back to the drawing board, crossing my fingers, hoping that something will turn out okay for me.

On the bright side, I'm loving life as it is: the busy schedule, the academic work (despite how disgustingly rigorous it is), the time I spend working with youth, the anything&everything about it. And I'm loving all the new music I've been discovering thanks to people like Jesse Huynh & Anthony Jazzy McSnazzy. (;

Alright, check all this nonsense if anyone reads my blogs. I'm outskie.

I got this through Matt Blesse's facebook; it's an article/blog thing which entails the analogies written in essays by high school students around the nation. It seriously cracked me up when I was having a pretty random bad night: 56 worst/best analogies

Newest discovery from Mister Jesse Huynh. now addicted to the artist like a heroin fiend.

Lastly, for the past month, this site has been my electro savior with it's ridiculous mixes.

http://thisisje.blogspot.com
Click here to download one of my favorite mixes by JE

someday we'll surely find it.

" sleepless gliding, over the city lights
watch us flying, over the streets tonight " - Kaskade/4am

It has been one day since facebook has returned into my life, and guess whattt. total failure. I did not do SHIT the pass 3 hours, because I was doing nothingness on facebook! oh well. I did write a letter to my pen pal so that's one thing... school is biting my ass. I never work out. And well, where does my time go?!

Here's something. I really wish I had the time to do one of these every week. gah.

take me by the hand.

hella feelin' it thanks to Andy Mam. it's like my soul is getting a taste of heaven.

great expectations.

rule #1: love yourself. unconditionally. because when you've learned that you just can't be loved by anyone in this world, at least you've got you.

i'm counting the moons.

I'm too awake, I'm too alive to let you let me die.

Congratulations. You just lost someone who you will never be able to find and replace again. I hope it's worth all the womyn you will meet for I am just one person out of many afterall, right? Catch me on the other side of life, enjoying it to the motha fuckin' fullest despite how crazy things will get. Buildin' my own rocketeer, closin' my eyes, and fly, fly, fly, up, up here I go, where it stops, only I'll know ...

happy february to me (:

in one week.

jacuzzi in the snow
strip beer pong
flamin' dr. peppers
southeast asian students crying
poem to my 2nd graders
the gangster we are all looking for
online eap application
l & s advising
letters to my pen pals
ebayc interview & job
tb test
lambda party
hook-ups
cyphers
lots of motha' fuckin' love

yu xia yi zheng wan

it feels like rain falling all through the night, and your footsteps have echoed into the darkness, travelling overseas, finding peace within your heart. i stand alone, looking out into the rain, thinking if the rain falls as pleasantly there too.

enjoy yaself.

In response: I like guys who know that I can open my own damn door. HAHAHAHAH what has been implemented into society these days just kill me. What I'd really like is a guy who is going to actually acknowledge and validate my opinions and thoughts, keeping an open mind, and being understanding. Too bad you can never really find that.

Anyway, Central Cal OutREACH! 2011 officially starts in TWO DAYS. omgwtfbbq. I'm quite excited, but nervous as hell, because of the problems we've been having with contacting schools and scheduling classes, etc. etc. But I know despite all of that, things will fall into place.

Stress as hell over school biznatch. ): Wish I could be a better blogger, but I've got lots to get done! Clean the room, fill out some excel sheets, finish petitions, blah blah blah. So effin' sick doh! GAH! Okay, enjoy this fly artist which I'm hella feeling right now.