i felt for sure last night that once we said goodbye
no one else will know these lonely dreams
no one else will know that part of me
i'm still driving away and i'm sorry everyday
i won't always love these selfish things
i won't always live, not stopping ...
it was my time to decide
i knew this was our time
no one else will have me like you do
no one else will have me, only you.
you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time.
what are you hoping for?
i'm here, i'm now, i'm ready, holding on tight.
don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
sweet disposition.
I can honestly say that you have been one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I never realized how fast you can meet, become friends, become more than friends, suddenly fall in love, and then have your heart broken with someone. I did it all in less than a year. Emily? In love? I can hardly believe it myself, but I know what my heart feels. How to explain it ... I don't know. All I know is that it's the first time I've ever felt this unconditional about something, someone.
It's easy for me to fight for this. It has always been easy for me to put up with pain and just cry inside. One thing I've learned the past few years is how to hold onto the things that are worth fighting for. Holding on to the things that you want to put meaning into the "meant to be's." But after these past few days, I realized that sometimes, I need to let go.
Not because it's not worth it. Not because I deserve better. Not because I don't care. Not because I'm giving up.
The cliche saying goes, "If you love something, let it go." I never really understood that until now. Until I've experienced it. I'm letting go because I look at you and see that I can't hold your hand through this beautiful struggle, despite how much I want to. I can't try to make things work when I know you're not ready. And I can't expect you to put up with my pain all the time, because I know it hurts you to see me in the state I am knowing you're the one doing it.
I never realized how fast you can meet, become friends, become more than friends, suddenly fall in love, and then have your heart broken with someone. I did it all in less than a year. Emily? In love? I can hardly believe it myself, but I know what my heart feels. How to explain it ... I don't know. All I know is that it's the first time I've ever felt this unconditional about something, someone.
It's easy for me to fight for this. It has always been easy for me to put up with pain and just cry inside. One thing I've learned the past few years is how to hold onto the things that are worth fighting for. Holding on to the things that you want to put meaning into the "meant to be's." But after these past few days, I realized that sometimes, I need to let go.
Not because it's not worth it. Not because I deserve better. Not because I don't care. Not because I'm giving up.
The cliche saying goes, "If you love something, let it go." I never really understood that until now. Until I've experienced it. I'm letting go because I look at you and see that I can't hold your hand through this beautiful struggle, despite how much I want to. I can't try to make things work when I know you're not ready. And I can't expect you to put up with my pain all the time, because I know it hurts you to see me in the state I am knowing you're the one doing it.
We may grow without each other side by side, but I can't help but hope it doesn't grow us apart. A part of me already knows what I want. But I guess I have to be okay with the unknown. For now, I'll just cry my heart out until I can't cry anymore. Because I know I'm going to be okay. Time heals. And it won't be so bittersweet anymore. It'll be a sweet disposition. <3
Friday, May 14, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
don't let me fall.
"I was shooting for stars on a Saturday night. They say what goes up, must come down, but don't let me fall ..."
I wrote a letter that I will never give. Because sometimes, you write things you wish you could say. Because sometimes, you need to remind yourself the reason why you're doing the things you do. Because sometimes, you just need to. You just need to see it before you eyes, the words that will consume you and tell you that this is it, because it is it. So you can pretend that things are going to be okay, so that you can just let go, so that you can stop trying to fix things, and instead, let everything fall into place. And if it doesn't, well ... I don't know what you would do. I guess I just gotta hope for it to not fall apart.
I wrote a letter that I will never give. Because sometimes, you write things you wish you could say. Because sometimes, you need to remind yourself the reason why you're doing the things you do. Because sometimes, you just need to. You just need to see it before you eyes, the words that will consume you and tell you that this is it, because it is it. So you can pretend that things are going to be okay, so that you can just let go, so that you can stop trying to fix things, and instead, let everything fall into place. And if it doesn't, well ... I don't know what you would do. I guess I just gotta hope for it to not fall apart.
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